“I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband. You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring. Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important. Encourage him. Be kind. It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive. Be cheerful. Don’t be a whiner.”
Marjorie Pay Hinckley
How true!! I know I am often finding myself say something along these lines to friends who are in a relationship. I just want to grab them by the shoulders and give them a shake and exclaim " Dont you realize that life with kids is truly so short!! That if you dont cultivate this relationship with your spouse, in 20 years you are going to roll over and wonder who is this man beside me?? What does he like? What is there to talk about now that there are no kids at home?? Realizing you have been living two parallel lives that have nothing in common with each other.
It breaks my heart when I hear people complaining about their spouse. That is one of the fastest ways to find discontent with them!! The more you focus on the negative, the little ( or big) irritants, soon that is all you are going to be able to see.
Why oh why do people feel the need to belittle, complain and whine about their life/ partners?? It is a question that never ceases to boggle our minds. Cant you see the damage you are doing not only to your partner but to yourself?
Marriage isn't easy!! It is not supposed to be easy it is hard work. A journey you are on together and no journey or trip I have been on is free of pit falls and trials. If it is something wonderful and worth while. Then isn't it worth working at and fighting for??
Men remember to tell her she is beautiful, how much you appreciate how hard she works.
Women remember to show and to tell him how much you appreciate him and how hard he works for your family.
Dont let the little things that we do when we are dating fall to the wayside. Its the little things that help cement our relationships!! NEVER stop telling each other how much you love them!
I know when our kids were little ( and they are by no means old LOL, just starting preteens now 0_o). We made a "rule" that on our date nights we weren't aloud to talk about these 3 things:
1. KIDS
2. Money
3. Work
What does that leave?? Well for the first few times, honestly..........Not a hole heck of alot! Picture an awkward first date struggling to find things to say. And really you can only talk about the weather so much :D
There was a lot of silence, but slowly we found more and more to talk about. Future plans, his dreams, ideas, projects, my dreams, ideas, projects, thoughts.
Do we still have silences?? Of course!! But they aren't uncomfortable. It is so so SO easy to make our children our hole world!! They need us, love us, challenge us, on a daily basis. They need loves, hugs kisses. Our day is filled with touching, needing, needling, loving, laughing, teaching.
That said, sometimes at the end of the day Hubby comes home and really for some people the last thing you want or need and anymore, touching, loving, needing. All you want is your own space and SILENCE!! But please please please!! Don't forget that they need love, touches and conversation too!
WE are their best friend (or should be!!!) this is who we picked to be with for the rest of our lives and eternity!! Do you want it to be with a stranger? Or your best friend who you still have fun with, laugh with , be serious with, play with?
PLAY!!! Oh please please please play together!! Some of my favorite memories are playing with mike!
Try and have a date night every week. I know it sounds impossible and really if I am going to be honest...sometimes it is!
Our "date" nights lately consist of Mike staying up until 12:30 when I get home from work and just chatting with me for an hour or so. But it is so needed just to reconnect!!
Is my marriage perfect?
BY ALL MEANS, NO! But I think having to work for it, compromise for it and sometimes relearning what it is we love about each other, falling in love all over again. That makes a marriage stronger and happier.
Life is full of compromise, finding what works and doesn't work, continuing to grow together. Waking up in 15-20 years and realizing your best friend, the one you want for eternity is right there beside you!! Remember its not about giving your 50% and him making up the other 50%. It is about each of us giving 110%
In conclusion,
My Marriage may not be perfect but it is perfect for us!! He is my best friend and I am his!! And I wouldn't change it for anything!!
beautiful!
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